Personal Confessions ~ Actions speak louder than words

When are are born and start to grow we live by the words of our guardians, our guardian’s word is mightier than king Arthur’s sword. As a child we have short attention span so when we asked our guardian for something and they said they would do it then they do not we were hurt and confused but then before the day ends we had forgotten or moved on to the next thing. This is the life of a kid and I honestly want to say I miss this time, not caring much about the hurt and the pain but moving on because that’s life, sh*t happens, we learn, we feel pain and we grow (hopefully).

Living as an adult things take a different turn, now when someone says they will do something and they don’t well  we already know that life sucks and you move on but when whether said or not and they do something unexpected it’s like Christmas every day. As we grow older we develop ways to deal with disappointment better than when we were kids. We start to form barriers when people hurt us or take us for granted, and I think this is the part where as my friends says ‘things go tits up’.
I will be honest and say in the last 10 years of my life I have held more grudges than I can to remember. Though I held grudges I also forgot about then until someone reminded me of them and then I am back to holding grudges. It is tiring, it is time consuming and it takes so much of my head space that it can make you spin. I am tired of it and I have made a decision to change this.
Though I have made a decision I know its not like a switch that I can switch on/off but it is something that will take time for me to learn and to heal.
I love my life and everything in it, I appreciate the hurt I have experienced in my life as I have first hand knowledge of what it is that can destroy me.
I realised life is too short to hold grudges and even shorter to hold onto unhappiness. I always say happiness is a choice and one that I choose for me and that has not changed.
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  • Thanks and I agree, the worst possible case is our grudges eating us alive and ruining any chance of happiness and us allowing it to do that.

  • I agree with you – life it too short to hold grudges. Honestly they will eat you alive and you will never have peace until you learn to forgive. No one is perfect and we have to remember that. Just live our lives to the fullest and best that we can and center ourselves around God. Thanks for sharing.

  • I can definitely appreciate that, I think if they are not depleting your happiness and dragging you down then do whats best for you and your happiness

  • You rise above them with the knowledge that wasting time on useless things is beneath you and that your happiness is more important. Because when you happy you will be good for people around you

  • I agree, life is too short to hold onto grudges, but I have a few that I refuse to let go. In my case, the grudges that I hold onto is for self-preservation and I can honestly say…they don't suck any positive energy from my life – and I definitely remember why I am holding the grudges.

  • What an awesome realization. My emotions have taken a turn for the worse as I have aged, and some days it's just not worth dealing with. I understand that life is too short, but how do you rise above negative feelings? I wish I knew

  • I too was reading that, if you aint dead then there is always something to be happy about. And I agree with you we need to experience unhappiness to appreciate joy

  • Absolutely, we should all taken happiness into our own hands and do it how we do lol

  • It definitely is easier said than done hence why I know its something I need to slowly work on and not expect it be like a switch I can turn on/off

  • Thank you Lauriel, you always brighten up my day. Thanks

  • It definitely hurts me more and takes up my time which is a waste if I am honest

  • I was just reading about how life is short and hard at the same time but it does not mean we have to discontinue living. There are just some hurt feelings that can be healed and unhappiness that should be experienced in order to appreciate the joyful occasions. I also choose to be happy.

  • I agree with you…if we waited for something to happen to be happy we would be on a emotional roller coaster,

  • I have been working on letting go of grudges!! It is such a freeing thing; it’s amazing how much it harms you not them holding the grudge. I have to say it’s easier to say let go then to actually let go of the grudge!

  • Kudos to you for coming to this realization, and being able to remove the weight of the past from yourself like this. Life is all about hard decisions. But life is also about doing what's best for you. And this sounds like this was one of those moments. May it lead to more future happiness for you. 🙂

    xo,
    lauriel of EyeForElegance.com

  • I think holding grudges ultimately hurts you, because as you said it takes a lot of work. But just because you don't actively hold a grudge doesn't mean you should forget what someone has done to you. They just aren't worth that much of your time anymore!

  • I am glad to hear that and thank you.

  • Thank you Erin, we definitely only hurting ourselves but sometimes its hard to remember that

  • I think sometimes I feel used when I just forgive forgive but I have to learn to let go too

  • I think that's the best way to be forgive and move on.

  • Boy this really hits home with me. I am the worst when it comes to holding grudges and I realize that it is only holding me back but I still struggle letting go. Glad to hear your inspirational story, it is a great reminder to learn to let go and love myself:)

  • What a great post! So true! When we hold grudges we are only hurting ourselves. This post is a great reminder for everyone reading it to take a minute and think about who we are holding grudges against right now.

  • I really wish I could go back to the carefree childhood days and not have to deal with the feelings of hurt, sadness or being let down. You're so right though, life really is too short to hold onto the grudges or unhappiness. My Dad told me when I was a child that life is too short to fall out with people, etc. so generally I just let go or forgive and move on.

  • Ughhhhh I'm the same way girl! I use to be the queen of holding grudges! As I got older though, I realized it was pointless to let worthless people stay in my head so forgave and moved on with my life! I've been happier ever since

  • It's crazy scary how we change as we grow, circumstances definitely contribute to it.

  • Tell me about it

  • I am the exact. The older I have got to a point where I'm very pessimistic about everything, and as I get older my optimism diminishes

  • Life is definitely too short to hold grudges – but it is hard not to! 😉