Week 21: Relationship Advice ~ You Know its worth it when…

Happy Monday peeps, welcome, its been a while since I last composed a heart to heart post. So today’s post has come from some self reflection and I thought I share with you my lovely readers.

I was doing a clear up yesterday when I came across all the lovely cards that my boy friend has been sending me for the last 6 years. All the 6 valentines, the 6 birthdays and the 7 Christmas’ they all have one theme in them “I love you more everyday”, I will not lie to you it has not been easy but it has truly been worth it. Every relationship has its ups and downs but its how you work on it that determines its future at the end of the day.

When you watching TV dramas and movies they seem to give the illusion that everything works out in the end or that love shouldn’t be hard or difficult and I agree at the most but I disagree too, why? Well because reality is different and man does it hit you hard once you wake up to it. There is a saying and its one of my favorite, it goes “Everything good is worth fighting for” or “Good things don’t come easy”.  Most say love shouldn’t be hard but when is hard hard? I mean is it hard when you don’t talk for a few days, weeks, months? or is it hard when you are totally ignored for 6 months? Hard is different for everyone so you can not compare your hard to your friends hard hence why I mostly disagree with TV dramas and movies when they try to portray relationships.

My advice to you as always:

  • Look after number 1 (that’s you)
  • Bring everything to the lord in prayer
  • Trust
  • Compromise (both parties 50/50)
  • Love – to encompass all of the above

Don’t ever be fooled into thinking when you start everything will be and should be easy in a relationship, trusting and  loving your partner in all ways possible is what its about and then things will be as it should be. Do not know get me wrong, even a bad relationship can emanate from having all the above. Only you can and will know whats what for you.

That’s all I had for this Monday morning, have a wonderful week.

  • Sorry to hear that hun i can not even imagine, I know moving on sucks but one thing at a time and just take care of you.

  • It definitely does with a willing partner

  • Hard is the only easy to understand word i could think of at time of writing but i agree its not hard but challening

  • Being willing to put in the effort Esther is the reason it's working because if only one is dragging it forward it's bound the fail so I am happy to hear this.

  • Thank you this gives me hope, I will always remember to be kind and considerate

  • Staying connected is very important in any relationship

  • And the idea i am trying to explain, be happy with you first then this opens up avenues to love others

  • I am glad that you're both blessed to have each other, always remember to do something for the other that you used to do in the beginning.

  • I agree it takes a lot more than just love to be able to make the relationship work. Respect is definitely keep so is patience, perseverance, trust and communication.

  • I needed to read this this morning.. Currently going through a divorce.. reading all these comments make me sad or that I didn't try hard enough to fight for what I had. But what I've learned over the last 3 years, it takes two to make a marriage work, you can't do it on your own. But moving on sucks, but it will be so worth it in the end.. At least, that's what they tell me..

  • Im in my longest relationship yet and like you, have stopped romanticizing relationships like they do on tv and in the movies. Maintaining a good, lasting relationship is first and foremost HARD WORK, and a very humbling experience overall. But if you found the right partner, the hard work I believe definitely pays off.

  • I have been married for over 21 years and it has been difficult sometimes but we have managed to whether those storms. I never think of it as being 'hard' no relationship should be 'hard' but it does have challenges. I am happy we have those valley's because it makes those peaks that much better.

  • I agree with your statement about having to put yourself first. So, many people don’t look after themselves in the relationship, which is why I feel personally, many end. If you are not happy with who you are there is no way that you can possibly be happy with anyone else.

  • I think relationship are hard – period! Sometimes even friendships are a lot of compromise and give and take. I also think as people grow, relationships change. And it’s very important to stay connected to your spouse and not grow apart.

  • I've been married for 21 years. It's not easy but it is worth it. I'd not trade a day of our lives. The most important thing to remember is to be kind and considerate in your relationships!

  • i don't think any relationship is ever easy.. especially when it involves two flawed people who will make mistakes and hurt each other. that's just part of human nature no matter how hard we try to be loving and caring. 🙂 i think the thing that has kept our marriage alive is knowing that marriage is hard work and being willing to put in the effort to work on it. which makes it sounds like a drag.. but I think the best and worthwhile things take work.

  • Relationships take a lot of time to nurture and grow. I'm truly lucky (blessed) to have a man in my life that is my best friend. We genuinely enjoy being around each other on a constant basis…and we are total opposites…but have enough in common to keep us going strong. For example, he is impatient and rushy-rushy, while I take my time and don't like to be rushed. So, for instance when it comes to home improvement projects…he's splashing on the deck stain while I'm still reading the directions. But, we both love movies and traveling. We've been together for 16 years, and hope to get married in Italy. We used to do greeting cards all the time in the beginning of our relationship, and after reading your post…realized that I've stopped. Maybe it's time to start again 🙂

  • Relationships are HARD work. I've been married for five years, and I've known my husband for 10 years, and we've had some incredibly good moments and some very, very low moments in that span. It's easy to be loved up in the first few months of a relationships, but learning how to balance things in the long run takes patience, perseverance, and respect. Great post! 🙂

  • I am happy that this post has helped and sorry that you going through these difficult times, I think prayer should be number one call and then speak to him and see if he wants to work on it 50/50 you pulling all the weight and him not being accountable is not how relationships should work. I know from personal experience how hard it is but I also think the willingness from both parties determins the outcome be it good or bad but at least you tried and not just walked away.

  • I needed to read this post Myrabev. Lately I have been so unhappy, I feel so let down by my other half and he has done things which are just so unacceptable and hurtful… (coming home at 3.15 am with lipstick on his neck 🙁 ) I am at breaking point and so unbelievably unhappy at the moment. I love him so much and try my best for this relationship but it takes two people to make things work and all the points you've stated above, especially trust, is so fundamental for a good relationship.