Week 4: Soul Sharing ~ I am who I am!!

Happy Tuesday!!!

The worse thing that can happen to someone is to change to suit other people and lose themselves in the process, it happens! I have seen it happen and I am pretty certain you have too. I believe change should be a personal decision not one forced upon someone, because the rebellious consequences would be deadly should it ever happen.

I am sure we all have things in our lives that we wish would be different and that’s good because that’s you making the decision not someone else and please do not misquote me if your parents are making decisions which are for your benefit please adhere to them because they see 10 years in the future for you but us children we usually only see past tomorrow.

I have things in my life that I wish I could change but I have told myself never to change it because it’s part of who I am what have gone through and how I came to be who I am.

When I was 3 months old (so am told) I was dropped by my auntie who later on helped raise me and who I dearly love to death. I broke my leg but I got better because my bones miraculously fused back together and I am not disable in any way. From the drop, the only thing I have been left with is a scar on my knee which I remember for years as a teenager I hated to death and wished one day or as I grew older I could have it removed (unfortunately for me I am scared s**t of surgery). I remember when I was a kid with no care in the world I wore short clothes like any normal kid, when I grew up and people used to look at me funny because of my scar I started to feel ashamed and ugly so much that I hid and refused to go out unless my knees were covered and back in the day my parents never allowed us girls to wear trousers only skirts and dresses.

I remember how much I wanted to be like other girls who could wear what ever when ever and people didn’t give then pity looks, I dreamt of a day people would not even see the scar they would just see me. When I started seeing my partner G I was so wary that he would not like me if he ever saw my scar, one day he did and he just looked at me and smiled. He saw how I flinched and how uncomfortable I got, I tried to hide the scar and he stopped me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he has ever had the pleasure of going out with and the scar just added the spice to my beauty.

I looked at him and all I saw was sincerity, love and care! From that day on I never looked at my scar the same way, it’s never something I am ashamed of anymore but something I embrace and cheer it’s my identify those it does not define me wholly. I changed the way I viewed my scar because I wanted to and believed so much that what my partner saw/sees it’s how it is. My parents have never once loved me less because of my scar, they know it’s there and I am sure they remember quite clearly how I got it but all they see is there daughter alive, happy and well.

I decided to share this with you guys firstly because of my friend  Dharia who shared her story here and secondly because I know how us girls always thinking we are less than other girls who seem to have it all, trust me when I say they don’t. Just believe in yourself, be happy with what you have and loved those close to you and don’t give the world the power over you. You are different and special in your own way and that’s ok, this world is better because we are all different.

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  • It's a work in progress for us all indeed. I thank you for reading and stopping by my blog, much appreciated. Have a great day.

  • Such a wonderful post, lady! While I don't have the outside scars, I do have the inside ones. Ones that I slowly try to heal, some are healed and some are not, it is a work in progress. One side on my brain tells me that I am a great person, friendly and loyal…but the other side is the one that I fight with, that I am not pretty, that I am overweight, etc. But I still fight with the negative ones, as I said a work in progress. Thank you so much for sharing! Have an amazing week!

  • My dearest Dharia! I agree with all you've said, if we don't nurture the interior we are doom. Thank you for reading my post.

  • Writing something like this always looks easier than it is. Perhaps now you think the idea of hating the scar was silly but, in that moment it was a huge issue for you, and I know what mess the brain can make on you. Your brain can make you look too fat, too think, too dark, too white, too ugly, too old, even if not all of that is bad, and if you are nothing of it. But, regardless of what anyone says, first, you have to believe and understand how beautiful you are (and you are) and then, someone as great as your bf will come to remind you that every day. And of course, even if you are beautiful, it is completely worthless if you forget to nurture your interior, reading, having faith, loving, caring, and sharing your beautiful thoughts. I think you are a great person and beautiful inside and outside! 🙂